Should I Tip My Wedding Vendors?
TO. INSURE. PROMPT. SERVICE.
TIPS. The age old way of giving a monetary incentive, above and beyond that which was formerly agreed upon, to encourage or complement service that is above and beyond that which was expected. All that to say,
tipping your wedding vendors is a personal choice
If you, yourself, are a server or work in a tip based industry, then you likely appreciate and understand the dynamics of a tip. My husband also owns a service based company where most of his customers understand, 'hey, you're doing hard physical labor, something we could do ourselves but can't/don't/won't want to ourselves and you excelled at it. Here's a tip.'
But then there are other people who are completely clueless and a bit self-indulged (I can say this because I'm an only child - the epitome of self-anything. self-sufficient, self-confident, self-absorbed (?), suuuper humble).
Regardless, we (my husband and I) have come to truly understand, through numerous existential conversation about the world and our place in it, why we choose to tip or not. And a tip isn't less than 10%, a tip isn't rounding up to the nearest dollar.
This post is NOT written to convince you to tip or not. It is merely a guide offered to answer your question, 'how much should I tip my vendors?'.
TIPPING YOUR CATERING STAFF
Your servers are going to deliver your food or serve your food, fill your water goblets, buss your tables, grab you another fork... directly care for you in most every culinary aspect. You’ll have head staff who orchestrate this dinner dance, perhaps plating but most certainly expediting meals and relying on kitchen magicians (chefs) to produce food that is delicious and the perfect temperature.
If you and your guests have full bellies and are happily satiated, your catering staff should be properly thanked. Personally, my husband and I both agree that 35-50$ per server is fair. Your catering manager/banquet captain, and sous/pastry chefs/head chef 50-200$.
I suggest, start by taking 20% of your labor charge, that's what you'll have to play with. Then divvy it up how you see fit. Your catering manager can always be consulted on how to tip in a fair and meaningful manner.
TIPPING YOUR PHOTOGRAPHER
Remember that first part about to insure prompt service? Your photographer and videographer could be the type of people whom when tipped deliver your images or video sooner. I'm not guaranteeing it, but tipping your photographer and videographer 20% COULD make it so that you get your wedding photos back faster.
It's also a nice thing to do, in my opinion, since these people are busting their hump to ensure they get the shot and you have permanent and tangible memories of your best day ever.
Furthermore, most photographers (and most planners, and some florists and most DJs) are self-employed. Most of them are going to be out in the wiles of nature (100 degrees, windy, rainy) stretching their bodies, squatting, and lugging equipment (or lunging with equipment), all to get the shot. I could rant about this all day long, but I think you're taking the hint. You should tip your wedding photographer.
TIPPING YOUR WEDDING DJ
Just wondering, did you already tip your DJ? Some will include and require a tip, they'll add a gratuity line to your final bill, and it will be filled out and you'll have already paid it.
A DJ can easily earn a tip, for real. They can be solely responsible for keeping your reception timeline on time (like if you don't have a wedding planner), for making your guests feel at ease (like if the servers are cranky or the food is cold), for keeping the flow of the night flowing and the dance floor poppin (like exactly how you want your wedding night to go).
Of course, if your DJ is amazing-keeps-the-dance-floor-poppin-plays-the-best-music-and-even-emcees, tip your DJ (20%).
TIPPING YOUR WEDDING HAIR STYLIST AND MAKEUP ARTIST
Uh, you tip the gal that cuts your hair and the guy who shaves your fade don't you? Then why would your wedding day, THE DAY THAT YOU WANT TO LOOK YOUR ABSOLUTE BESTEST, be any different?
You can choose to tip for your entire bridal party, or ask your crew to tip (in cash) on the day of the wedding. 20% is my standard answer for ‘how much?’
TIPPING YOUR WEDDING OFFICIANT
There are different types of officiants, right? There's the kind from a church, who officiate for free, whom you should tip by donating to the church in their honor. There's the kind that are non-denominational and should be tipped 15-20% if they especially blow your socks off and make the wedding process smooth and make people laugh and cry and sigh and chortle during your ceremony.
Then there's the kind that have no idea what they are doing, but got certified online because they love you (or because you did it for them). Friends can get tipped too, especially if they are public speaking at the most important event in your life for free. $100 is a great tip for friends (or for the former donating to the church).
I would caution that if you want to donate something to the church that you are using for your wedding, instead of a monetary 'thank you for letting us get married here', well, maybe think about the fact that churches are businesses too. And while they do get moderately unjustified tax breaks, if you are truly in support of your church, you should truly support them. Donating candelabras doesn't pay the electricity bill.
TIPPING YOUR WEDDING FLORIST
Similar to the difference between ordering your food at the counter and having your food served to you, I think florists should get tipped based on how far they go to get you your flowers. Some of you may be opting to pick up your flowers and set them up on your own (or have me set them up), in which case I just don't know if a tip is warranted. Aside from if you have a moment, when you pick them up from the warehouse, where your mind is blown because they are beyond-your-wildest-dreams gorgeous.
If, however, your florist is delivering the flowers, setting them up, and then returning at the end of the night for clean up. Holy Hannah that's a lot of hustle and YES I think you should tip them 15-20% of the LABOR fee. I say labor because earlier I advised you to tip your caterer based on their labor fee, and not the cost of the food, so too/also not the cost of the flowers.
TIPPING YOUR WEDDING PLANNER
*COUGH* If you had a rockin' engagement and a stress free day, I guarantee you that your wedding planner played a huge role in that. Just ask ANYONE who did not hire a wedding planner. Yours would not mind monetary gratitude. They would not.
Also if you have your wedding planner racing around, setting up, tearing down, carrying 30 feet of garland 150 yards, resetting up, moving chairs, stacking chairs, bathroom attending, serving food, bussing tables, ET CETERA. They should be tipped for their sweat.
That being said I've been tipped in many ways. Immediate reviews on Google and The Knot. Always a thumbs up. I've been tipped with gifts cards and one time (HOPE & CHRIS) actually got me a gift, which included our much coveted karaoke microphone. But, of course, the best bonus, the one that makes you feel like, 'yes. I did succeed!', is going to be a cash tip. I usually get tipped 10-20%. That's a huge range that translates to $300-1200.
HOW TO TIP YOUR WEDDING VENDORS
The week of your wedding have a conversation about how much and whom you’d like to tip. Then go the bank and put cash in individual envelopes with the vendor name listed on the front. It’s easiest to pass out tips to vendors when you first see them on your wedding day, but I also think you maybe-might want to see how the night goes. Either way on behalf of all vendors receiving a tip, thank you. Your not just paying our mortgages you are making us feel accomplished, worthy valued, and happy. And one time (CAITLIN JAMIE) that tip went as directed towards my daughter’s Barbie collection. Cheers.
