You need friends. Not because you'll look awkward standing up at the altar, about to marry the one you love with an officiant in the backdrop. You won't look awkward. That's a fine way to get married. And not because you need presents, and friends (or friends of your parents) is a sure fire way to get your registry list checked off. No. You need friends. You need them because of a little thing called love. 

bridesmaids in matching flannel shirts for getting ready | Planned by Sixpence Events & Planning | Photo by Elliot Malcolm
bridal party getting ready at bride's childhood home | Planned by Sixpence Events & Planning | Photo by Elliot Malcolm Minneapolis Wedding Photographer and Videographer

A wedding, your wedding, is all about celebrating the love of you and your fiancé. It's also about the love that your family has for you, and the opportunity to show their support and excitement for your new life together. hurrah!

So you need friends, because you want to feel the love. You don't need millions of people to surround you to feel smothered in joy. But you do need people who mean a lot to you. Quality not quantity señora. And friends don't have to be unrelated. My grandma is my friend, although she is the chattiest and wisest friend I have. My mum, yup, she's a friend for sure. But also if you've got a cousin whose your bestie or an Aunt who knows all your secrets. Basically the people who mean something to you and if they weren't at your wedding you'd be sad.

grandpa first look with bride in grandma's wedding dress | Photo by Elliot Malcolm | Planned by Sixpence Events & Planning
Having your friend be the wedding officiant | signing the marriage license | groom in gray suit with black tie | bride in grandma's wedding dress with pearls | Planned by Sixpence Events & Planning | Photo by Elliot Malcolm

Why it's important to have good friends, good friends will help you have a good wedding. They will care about you being happy on your wedding day, they will help you be happy, and they will be happy when they see that you are happy. Hence, the offers from friends to help you before or during your wedding. Like being your officiant, or hanging decor. They want to be an integral part of you finding happiness on the day of your nuptials. 

Ways to make your friends feel integrated and important? Have them be ushers, be readers, do a blessing, make a toast, say a prayer, be in your bridal party, help set up, or help take down, and there's one more role, one I don't really want to mention. I know you can have personal attendants at your wedding, but I just think that that's a shitty job for a friend. It's stressful to be that helpful at a wedding. To run the timeline and to be 'in charge'. Really I wouldn't do it (as in I wouldn't do that to my friend, because I do do that, when I day of coordinate I am like a personal attendant, strike that personal wedding assistant). Instead hire a planner (or have a friend do your day of coordinating who HAS EXPERIENCE), they come in all shapes and sizes (and by that I mean price ranges) so there's no excuse. Let your friends just be friends, and not crazy-bossy-unfriendly-timeline-pushers-who-everyone-avoids-and-who-even-you-end-up-getting-rubbed-the-wrong-way-by. Now that I've said all that, let me be clear that some people are excellent personal attendants, some people are (see bottom right photo, they were).

bride with her bridesman laughing | bride wearing grandma's antique dress | bridesman in khaki suit with light pink tie and white dahlia boutonniere and white pocket square | Planned by Sixpence Events & Planning | Photo by Elliot Malcolm
wedding personal attendants black top and gold skirt outfit with pinned boutonnieres | Planned by Sixpence Events & Planning | Photo by Elliot Malcolm

Friends caring about their friend. That's why you don't always need a big guest list to have a good wedding. Invite the people who care about you, and whom you care about. Because you're wedding is no joke. It's a once-in-a-lifetime, hold-on-to-your-hats, roll-up-your-socks and get married event. You want friends to be around you, to help you and to hold you. To make sure you don't over imbibe, don't forget your vows, to hold your hand and fluff your dress. You don't need a lot, but you need friends and they need you, woo hoo hoo.

Prosperity, Love & Happiness,
Josey

 

 

P.s. How are you including your friends on the big day? I wanna know, write it in the comment section below!

 

 

Header Photo by Elliot Malcolm

 

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