Wedding Etiquette: Who Gets Flowers
You're picturing your wedding day, the dress or the suit you'll wear, cheeks rosy, hair primped, teeth as white as they'll ever be.
If you are a bride you think of the bouquet you want your fingers gripping as you walk down the aisle the very last steps you'll take before becoming a Mrs.
If you are a groom, perhaps your determining whether your boutonniere will go on your lapel, suspenders or vest; is July too hot to wear a jacket; if you go without can you pin flowers on a shirt?
Your mind begins to wander to the other people who will hold a bouquet or boutonniere, perhaps even petals for a flower girl to sprinkle down the aisle. While you may be tempted to stop there, I'll warn that mom's are quick to remind that there are a few more flowers you'll need to purchase, but who get's flowers? Who is mom talking about??!?
It really is up to you, 100%, because it is your wedding, but here is a list of traditionally who gets flowers.
BRIDES + GROOMS
As stated brides hold bouquets or have a boutonniere if wearing a suit and grooms usually pin a boutonniere on a lapel, vest or suspender. Wearing only a button down shirt as the groom? Here is some inspiration.
In general, those wearing dresses will get a bouquet and those in a suit (or pants and a shirt) will get a boutonniere. If your party isn't standing up with you at the altar, you can get away with just a wrist corsage for the ladies. Just know your wedding portraits will look differently than if the women had bouquets.
Give them flowers that are age appropriate. A floral crown is ADORABLE but only if they don't mind hair pieces. Petals are traditional, but not allowed at all venues. A floral ball or wrist corsage might be the best way to go, or a ribbon wand.
Same boat. Certain temperaments or personalities just refuse to have something pinned on them. If this is the case just revel in the fact that they are wearing a vest and a bow tie.
STORY TIME: Once at a wedding a 3 year old ring bearer retorted, "Flowers are for girls!" When mentioned that his dad was wearing a flower said ring bearer looked more puzzled than the Grinch puzzling until his puzzler was sore.
This can include step parents. Basically who you feel is important in your life, if your stepdad raised you like his own, hell yeah you should honor that.
Anyone who can be at your wedding, who made it possible for your parents to be born and therefore for you to be alive and to have met your fiancé and to be getting married, they deserve a flower.
Grandmas don't always need a wrist corsage, as they often wear a cardigan or coverup that you can pin a boutonniere onto. Best practice: ask if they prefer one over the other. Same goes for moms by the way, but they ordinarily wear a fancier dress, one that is perhaps too sheer or thin to pin (on).
Ushers, readers, musicians, officiant. All people who you may want to signify as important. Especially if you asked them to fill that role because you already had a bridal party count bursting at the seams.
It's nice to give ushers a flower, so guests have a go to person when needing assistance. Likewise you may have your planner wear one as well, though if you offer me one I will politely decline.
OTHER IMPORTANT PEOPLE
Getting a flower makes people feel special and it's a great remedy for your feelings of guilt for not including god parents or step siblings in your wedding. Much better, if you ask me, than making them your personal attendant.
Just remember it's your wedding day, and it need not look any differently than you want it to! Need more helping determining what flowers you want for your wedding? Check out Carmen Carter with The Cutting Garden.
Prosperity, Love & Happiness,