Wedding Etiquette: Thank Yous

Congratulations, you're getting married!! Prepare yourself. You are going to get a lot in return for not eloping. Your parent's (perhaps) are chipping in to help cover the bill, your best friends and favorite family members are promising to lead you down the aisle, to be by your side the whole day and to make sure there's a smile on your face and something in your glass. Not to mention the guests who have agreed to give their support, to bear witness to you and your love and to bring a gift and a card.

Thank you should be a phrase that comes naturally to you and from you, often. Emily Post says

Contrary to popular myth, the happy couple does not have a year’s grace period in which to write their notes. All thank-you notes should be written within three months of the receipt of the gift. Ideally, a response should be written on the day you receive a wedding gift. If that’s not possible, set a daily goal. It’s a lot easier to write three or four notes a day than to have to write a hundred notes in a month after the wedding!

I'll agree completely. Gifts given in person ordinarily would get a verbal gratitudinous response, but when it comes to weddings, you need to put pen to paper and send your thanks in written form. Even when no gift is given, it's nice to say thanks, 'thank you for attending our wedding and approving of our marriage and celebrating alongside of us'. thank you.

Here's what the process should look like:

  1. Start an xcel spreadsheet (I prefer google sheets, here's my process) before your first gift receiving opportunity, like a bridal shower.

  2. Enter gifts as you receive them.

  3. Purchase thank you cards in bulk, at least as many as you expect to attend your wedding.

  4. Write and mail thank you cards as you receive gifts

  5. Mark off ones that you have mailed, so you know where you stand in the appreciation process.

Need thank you cards for giving? Check these crazy pretty papers from local Minneapolis wedding stationers and online paper designers. 

The best encouragement I can give comes in the form of a nag. Would you rather force yourself to buck up and send thank you cards as you receive them (bribe yourself by promising not to use said gift until you send out the thank you) OR have your mother or mother-in-law-to-be incessantly remind you to thank Aunt Geraldine for that handmade bread bowl?

I'd pick the former but that's just me.

Prosperity, Love & Happiness,


Header image of Champagne Press papers, greenery from The Cutting Garden and photo taken by Alyssa Lee Photo at The Radisson Blu Mall of America.